Confidence – a state or a trait? – A guide to self confidence


I’ve recently been coaching a wide variety of people from Executives and Senior managers to Creatives and Digital Start ups.  From an outsiders perspective they look fabulous, they’re incredible people with generous hearts and good intentions but by their own admission they all lack confidence in their own ability.

Whether it be their presenting skills, creative ability, their value as a partner or parent there is one common theme amongst them all, they doubt themselves.

Many of us believe that confidence is something you’re born with, a genetic trait passed down by our ancestors. So, we watch and marvel at those people around us that seem totally in control and unfazed. We envy the ones that kick ass at that public speaking engagement or seem totally cool and in control during that intense debate.

The great news though is this, confidence is a state not a trait. It’s something you can actually learn and practise. Let me say that again… CONFIDENCE IS A STATE NOT A TRAIT!

You just need to develop your confidence tool kit and use what works best for you.

From a personal perspective, when I started out in business I had a real fear of public speaking. I hated the thought of appearing in front of hundreds of people and being judged. Just the thought of it reduced me into a quivering heap. So I started to develop my confidence state. I used visualisations, positive affirmations and anchoring techniques.

You can read more about these techniques here

I also listened to the music that elevated my confidence levels before I took to the stage. The more I practised, the more confident I became. Don’t get me wrong, I still have those butterflies in my stomach an hour before my talk and that’s a good thing but now I have the tools and techniques to present with confidence and clarity and  if can do it, so can you!


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